10 Common Myths About Life Coaching Debunked
Life coaches have been around for a while but have been really emerging in recent years. Maybe your friend has been consulting a life coach, but it’s not entirely clear to you what that means. Similarly, if you’re spending any time on social media, you might see life coaches pop up on your feed, yet be confused about what it is they can actually help you with. You might even feel addressed by their offerings or intrigued to work with one but a lack of clarity on what it is they do or misconceptions are holding you back from actually reaching out to one.
In this blog post, I address some of the common misconceptions people have about life coaching, so you can get a better idea of what it is they can help you with, and have a more realistic expectation of what a coaching process can look like.
#1 Life Coaching is a Replacement For Therapy
Some people have resistance to reaching out to a therapist and want to jump right on the life coaching train, as if this were a shortcut to resolving or overcoming issues that are currently holding you back. It isn’t, and a good life coach will be able to spot that the topics you’re bringing in should be discussed in the setting of psychotherapy. We address many emotional aspects but we’re not trained to provide therapy for mental health issues or deeper rooted limiting beliefs. Unless you’re bringing in a topic to discuss with your coach that is separate from topics you should discuss with your therapist, the short cut you might have been looking for will quickly turn out to be a detour. Read more on the difference between life coaching and psychotherapy here.
#2 A Life Coach Will Offer Me Quick Fixes
Similar to #1, you might be looking for some quick fixes instead of investing your time and energy in a longer process that psychotherapy would entail. Or conversely, you might think that all a life coach has to offer are quick fixes. Neither is the case. A single coaching session can be incredibly helpful if you’re coming in with a specific topic and that topic is clear and manageable, and not a symptom of a larger theme.
However, in the majority of cases, you will not get instant solutions or major life changes within a couple coaching sessions. Coaching is a process, and a lot of the process takes place in between sessions - when, with your new gained awareness and tools, you can explore and spot behavioral and thought patterns. This allows you to find out what’s working for you, and implement change yourself - this is crucial for fostering self-awareness and self-confidence! Personal development and the implementation of change takes time, effort and commitment from your side. It’s absolutely possible, but you need to play your part and show consistent effort over time. Life coaches provide guidance and support, and can help point out the blind spots that are holding you back but the responsibility for ultimate change lies at least as much with the client as with the coach.
#3 Guaranteed Success
Now listen, I too have invested in programmes and courses before where I mistakenly thought the mere transfer of money would fix things for me. Of course, I didn’t really think that but kinda had that expectation. Here’s my money, now please fix this for me. However, life coaches can’t guarantee specific outcomes. Coaching success depends on various factors, including your commitment, effort as well as external circumstances. Your goals might change throughout the coaching process, and the original topic you came in with might very well not be the root problem but a symptom.
Unforeseeable things might happen in your life during the coaching process, so that your priorities and the focus of your sessions might change. It helps to be committed to the process at least as much as to the outcome - this way, you’re not waiting around for things to magically change, but are willing to be curious and put in the time and effort for lasting change that feels aligned with you.
#4 A Life Coach Will Tell Me What To Do
Life coaches should not assume a decision-making-authority, nor should you want them to. You might be feeling stuck and might want a coach to relieve you of the burden of having to make a decision. However, this would only offer temporary relief, as the next decision will be waiting for you. You don’t want to depend on a guru to tell you how to live your life. Now this doesn’t mean that a coaching process should turn you into a super independent person who never needs to ask for support. In fact, learning how to ask for support can be part of the coaching process. Life coaches help their clients explore options, check in with their own intuition and needs, set goals and develop strategies. We help you assume the responsibility for making your own decisions and taking action. This might seem daunting but that’s exactly why this is crucial. Learning to take responsibility for yourself and trust your gut are indispensable in building self-esteem and making your learnings from a life coaching process sustainable. There might always be times after the original coaching process where you feel you need support. Go get it! But you shouldn’t feel like your life is on hold while you’re waiting for your next session so your coach tells you what to do next.
#5 Life Coaching is For Personal Issues Only
Life coaches are skilled professionals equipped to support individuals with various aspects of their life, including relationships and personal development. While personal issues can be addressed, life coaching is also valuable for those seeking guidance in their careers, wanting to improve specific skills, or aiming for a more balanced and fulfilling life. For example, life coaches can assist in setting and achieving goals, improving communication skills, and navigating the changes and transitions that are either going on in your life already or that you’re ready to embark on. We want to enable our clients to reach their full potential both personally and professionally.
Furthermore, it is important that life coaching is not restricted to problem-solving. Rather, it’s a proactive approach to self-discovery, empowerment, gaining clarity and confidence, taking action and achieving meaningful goals (these have to be meaningful for YOU). Clients often seek out a life coach to build on their strengths, gain support and self-awareness, and ultimately maximize their well-being by creating a life that aligns with their needs, values and aspirations.
#6 One Size Fits All Approach
Effective, supportive and compassionate coaching involves tailoring strategies to the individual client’s needs and should never be a one-size-fits-all-process. What works for one person may not work for another, and a good life coach recognizes and adapts the process to the individual in front of them. In order to do this, transparent communication from the client’s side is crucial. Life coaches are not mind-readers and we can’t guess the right approach without input from your side. Your willingness to collaborate allows us to keep up with our commitment to finding what works for you.
#7 Life Coaching is for the Unhappy
Life coaching is not only for people facing crises, feeling stuck or unhappy. In fact, a baseline of well-being is necessary for the coaching process to take place. Read more here about when to consult a psychotherapist. Life coaching is also beneficial for those seeking personal or professional growth, needing support with reaching their goals, who want to enhance their skills, or strive for a more fulfilling life.
#8 All Coaches are the Same
Life Coaches are a niche themselves; we’re not finance coaches or business coaches. But we can still have different focuses, approaches, and styles. It’s crucial to find a life coach whose expertise, personality and coaching style align with your specific goals and preferences. A reference from a friend or colleague is wonderful but you should always find out for yourself if a specific coach is suitable for you. While opening up to a stranger might not be immediately within your comfort zone, during your discovery call, you can get an idea of whether you can imagine entering the process of increasingly trusting your life coach and being vulnerable with them.
#9 Life Coaches Have All the Answers
A life coach is a guide and supporter, not an oracle. Conversely, you might think that we have no clue what we’re doing. We help clients discover their own solutions by asking insightful questions, providing perspectives, mirroring their thoughts, resistances and behavior, and offering tools for self-discovery. The goal of the coaching process isn’t to tell you what to do next but to detect what’s currently holding you back, and to empower you to trust your own judgment, make decisions and take actions that are aligned with your values, so that you can navigate your unique life path with confidence and clarity.
#10 Life Coaches Don’t Have Any Answers
The notion that life coaches don't have any answers is a common misconception that arises from a misunderstanding of the coaching process. As described in myth #4, the essence of life coaching lies in empowering individuals to discover their own answers and solutions, thus fostering confidence and self-esteem. The point of consulting us is not to get answers from us but from the coaching process. Skilled life coaches use effective question techniques, engage in active listening, and offer insightful reflections to guide clients in exploring their goals, values, and challenges. The goal of life coaching is not to provide you with answers but to facilitate a self-discovery journey that encourages you to tap into your own wisdom and capabilities. As described above, the client needs to assume responsibility for their life and commit time and effort to the coaching process, so a dynamic collaboration of inquiry and exploration can develop that allows clients to uncover their own insights and make informed decisions, ultimately leading to a more empowered and self-directed life.
Bonus
#11 Luxury Service for the Wealthy
You might perceive life coaching as an exclusive and expensive service accessible only to the wealthy or affluent. This misconception can deter those with more modest budgets from considering life coaching as a viable option for personal and professional development.
While some life coaches charge high fees based on their expertise and target audience, the field of life coaching is diverse, and coaches are available at different price points - often depending on your geographical location, specific areas you want support with, and their expertise. Many coaches also offer different packages and payment plans.
The goal of life coaching is to accompany and support people from all walks of life, emphasizing personal growth, ability to achieve goals, and improving well-being. Explore different coaching options, compare prices, and inquire about available payment plans. However, life coaching can be a small investment regardless of your budget, which is why it’s crucial that you choose a life coach you feel comfortable with. Your commitment to the coaching process and the relationship you have with your coach are two decisive factors in the outcome of your coaching process.
Key Takeaways
This blog post dispelled common myths about life coaching, in order to foster a better understanding and more realistic expectations of the transformative potential that coaching offers. Remember, a life coach is not a guru, nor a problem-solver, but a guide supporting you in uncovering your own solutions and making informed decisions.
As you embark on your journey with a life coach, understand the process as a collaborative effort. Remember that personal development takes time, commitment, and consistent effort, and that the success of your coaching experience depends on your commitment and the partnership between you and your coach. Get to know them in a discovery call, and trust your gut on whether or not you want to work with them - it’s a first step towards tapping into your intuition, trusting your judgment and taking action towards your goals. And that’s a win!
